Thoughts Of A Mind.....

I Would Have Stayed Up With You All Night, Had I Known How To Save A Life..

2009-05-09T03:10:00.002+08:00

I miss you both dearly..

If only I knew that you would leave, I would have stayed up with you both all night..

But I didn't know..

How To Save A Life.

Being Twenty

2009-04-20T11:30:00.003+08:00

Hmm, in a few days time I'll be hitting twenty. Some people tend to think of twenty as a changing point in your life. A sort of point when you become an 'adult' and when you're expected to always give in to your brothers (cause you're more 'mature') listen to your parents (cause you're expected to have enough sense to do that by now) and always perpetually drive (mum and dad's reward for getting you through Driving School.

Anyways, I think being 20 is more profound than most people think. I know many friends who didn't make it to twenty. But anyways, I reckon is a good good place to look back at your life and see what you've done with it. The struggles and the loves and the losts and school life and all.

I think its amazing reaching 20 just as I am. That I didn't become a wannabe fan of some actor/football player and neither do I wish to be someone else (like I mostly did when I was in my early teenhood). After 20 years, I just want to be myself. I'm happy.

And speaking of being happy, it involves all of you. Family, Churchmates, CUCMS-ians, Lunchmates, Cell Groupmates, and everyone I know. You guys got me here, even the enemies made me what I am today.

So, this 20 years are a toast to you. That you've all been amazing people and I truly, deeply happy that I have you all in my life. You, are God's twentieth birthday gift to me :)

When I Say..

2009-04-15T00:11:00.000+08:00

by Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Nothing But You..

2009-03-27T01:13:00.003+08:00

Jeg har ingenting, men jeg har alt når jeg har deg

Sorry That I Nicked This Danny!

2009-03-26T01:56:00.003+08:00

But this Pic Of Shadrach praying is so amazing..

To think lots of us started out this way.

God guide him and us till the end..

2009-03-20T01:39:00.001+08:00

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return

I'm Not Racist, But..

2009-03-19T15:15:00.000+08:00

The UnBiased Government of Malaysia

(1) Of the five major banks, only one is multi-racial, the rest are controlled by Malays.

(2) 99% of Petronas directors are Malays.

(3) 3% of Petronas employees are Chinese.

(4) 99% of 2000 Petronas gasoline stations are owned by Malays.

(5) 100% all contractors working under Petronas projects must be of Bumis status.

(6) 0% of non-Malay staff are legally required in Malay companies. But there must be 30% Malay staffs in Chinese companies.

(7) 5% of all new intake for government police, nurses, army, are non-Malays.

(8) 2% is the present Chinese staff in Royal Malaysian Air Force (RMAF), a drop from 40% in 1960.

(9) 2% is the percentage of non-Malay government servants in Putrajaya, but Malays make up 98%.

(10) 7% is the percentage of Chinese government servants in the entire government (in 2004); a drop from 30% in 1960.

(11) 95% of government contracts are given to Malays.

(12) 100% all business licensees are controlled by Malay government, e.g. Taxi permits, Approved permits, etc.

(13) 80% of the Chinese rice millers in Kedah had to be sold to Malay controlled Bernas in 1980s. Otherwise, life is made difficult for Chinese rice millers.

(14) 100 big companies set up, owned and managed by Chinese Malaysians were taken over by government, and later managed by Malays since 1970s, e.g. UTC, UMBC, MISC, etc.

(15) At least 10 Chinese owned bus companies (throughout Malaysia in the past 40 years) had to be sold to MARA or other Malay transport companies due to rejection by Malay authorities to Chinese applications for bus routes and rejection for their applications for new buses.

(16) Two Chinese taxi drivers were barred from driving in Johor Larkin bus station. There are about 30 taxi drivers and three were Chinese in Oct. 2004. Spoiling taxi club properties was the reason given.

(17) 0 non-Malays are allowed to get shop lots in the new Muar bus station (Nov. 2004).

(18) 8000 billion ringgit is the total amount the government channeled to Malay pockets through ASB, ASN, MARA, privatization of government agencies, Tabung Haji etc, through NEP over a 34 years period.

(19) 48 Chinese primary schools closed down from 1968 - 2000.

(20) 144 Indian primary schools closed down from 1968 - 2000.

(21) 2637 Malay primary schools built from 1968 - 2000.

(22) 2.5% is government budget for Chinese primary schools. Indian schools got only 1%, Malay schools got 96.5%.

(23) While a Chinese parent with RM1000 salary (monthly) cannot get school textbook loan, a Malay parent with RM2000 salary is eligible.

(24) All 10 public university vice chancellors are Malays.

(25) 5% of the government universities’ lecturers are of non-Malay origins. This percentage has been reduced from about 70% in 1965 to only 5% in 2004.

(26) Only 5% has been given to non-Malays for government scholarships in over 40 years.

(27) 0 Chinese or Indians were sent to Japan and Korea under the “Look East Policy.”

(28) 128 STPM Chinese top students could not get into the course to which they aspired, i.e. Medicine (in 2004).

(29) 10% quotas are in place for non-Bumi students for MARA science schools beginning in 2003, but only 7% are filled. Before that it was 100% Malays.

(30) 50 cases in which Chinese and Indian Malaysians are beaten up in the National Service program in 2003.

(31) 25% of the Malaysian population was Chinese in 2004, a drop from 45% in 1957.

(32) 7% of the Malaysian population is Indian (2004), a drop from 12% in 1957.

(33) 2 million Chinese Malaysians have emigrated in the past 40 years.

(34) 0.5 million Indian Malaysians have emigrated overseas.

(35) 3 millions Indonesians have migrated to Malaysia and become Malaysian citizens with Bumis status.

(36) 600,000 Chinese and Indian Malaysians with red IC were rejected repeatedly when applying for citizenship in the past 40 years. Perhaps 60% of them had already passed away due to old age. This shows racism, based on how easily Indonesians got their citizenships compared with the Chinese and Indians.

(37) 5% - 15% discount for a Malay to buy a house, regardless whether the Malay is rich or poor.

(38) 2% is what new Chinese villages get, compared with 98% - what Malay villages got for rural development budget.

(39) 50 road names (at least) had been changed from Chinese names to other names.

(40) 1 Dewan Gan Boon Leong (in Malacca) was altered to another name (e.g. Dewan Serbaguna or something like that) when it was only officially used for a few days. The government tries to shun Chinese names. This example of racism occurred around 2000.

(41) 0 temples/churches were built for each housing estate. But every housing estate got at least one mosque/surau built.

(42) 3000 mosques/surau were built in all housing estates throughout Malaysia since 1970. No temples or churches are required to be built in housing estates.

(43) 1 Catholic church in Shah Alam took 20 years to apply to have a building constructed. But they were told by Malay authority that it must look like a factory and not like a church. As of 2004 the application still have not been approved.

(44) 1 publishing of Bible in Iban language banned (in 2002).

(45) 0 of the government TV stations (RTM1, RTM2, TV3) are directors of non-Malay origin.

(46) 30 government produced TV dramas and films always showed that the bad guys had Chinese faces, and the good guys had Malay faces. You can check it out since 1970s. Recent years, this has become less of a tendency.

(47) 10 times, at least, Malays (especially Umno) had threatened to massacre the Chinese Malaysians using May 13, since 1969.

(48) 20 constituencies won by DAP would not get funds from the government to develop. These Chinese majority constituencies would be the last to be developed.

(49) 100 constituencies (parliaments and states) had been racially re-delineated so Chinese votes were diluted for Chinese candidates. This is one of the main reasons why DAP candidates have consistently lost in elections since the 1970s.

(50) Only 3 out of 12 human rights items are ratified by the Malaysian government since 1960.

(51) 0 - elimination of all forms of racial discrimination (UN Human Rights) has not been ratified by Malaysian government since 1960s.

(52) 20 reported cases whereby Malay ambulance attendances treated Chinese patients inhumanely, and Malay government hospital staffs purposely delayed attending to Chinese patients in 2003. Unreported cases may be 200.

(53) 50 cases each year whereby Chinese, especially Chinese youths, are being beaten up by Malay youths in public places. Police reports may be checked to verify this, provided the police took the report, otherwise there will be no record.

(54) 20 cases every year whereby Chinese drivers who accidentally knocked down Malays were seriously assaulted or killed by Malays.

(55) 12% is what ASB/ASN got per annum while banks fixed deposits are only about 3.5% per annum.

Ainaa..

2009-03-06T03:06:00.000+08:00

But How,
Do you expect me,
To live alone with just me?
'Cause my world revolves around you,
Its so hard for me to breathe.

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air.
Can't live, can't breathe with no air.
That's how I feel when I know you ain't there.
There's No Air ,No Air.
Got me out here in the water so deep.
Tell me how you gon' be without me.
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe.
Its No Air No Air.

Love Clothes?? (For Girls)

2009-03-05T23:03:00.001+08:00

Hop yourselves over to http://whosplainjane.livejournal.com/

Shopping has never been this altruistic :)

And..

2009-03-05T01:52:00.001+08:00

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongdoing.
It does not delight in evil,
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.
There is nothing love cannot face;
There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things that last forever:
Faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love.

Sometimes

2009-03-03T17:57:00.002+08:00

I really feel we can't be together.

Though we were made for each other.

Dreams

2009-02-26T22:23:00.000+08:00

I love this story.

http://fables-of-a-dreamer.blogspot.com/2009/02/if-angels-have-wings-why-do-they-jog.html

Realization

2009-02-25T21:04:00.001+08:00

Today I became a punching/kicking bag for the dearest backsmacker.

I enjoyed it though, good massage :)

I love and cherish them.

They mean so much to me and my life here.

Live

2009-02-24T23:35:00.004+08:00

I don't understand people who don't appreciate life. I mean, the kinda people who go around ranting everyday about how their life sucks and choose to be emo or something. Maybe they have a reason to be that way. Maybe their life is hard, but

Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you!

Rocky Balboa

Live life to the fullest.

Someone Had To Say

2009-02-17T15:37:00.003+08:00

Manglish :)

2009-02-14T23:28:00.001+08:00

Who says our English is teruk? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: No stock.

RETURNING A CALL

Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hello, who call?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY

Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: S-kew me.

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY

Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Malaysians: No need lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?

WHEN ENTERTAINING

Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: No need shy shy one lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE

Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER

Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Malaysians: Don't want lah.

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION

Britons: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Malaysians: You mad ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.

Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.

Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?

Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.

Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.

Malaysians: Die lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED

Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Malaysians: What happened ah? Why like that one lah?

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG

Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.

Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY

Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?

Malaysians: Celaka you!

Dil Se

2009-02-10T14:26:00.002+08:00

According to ancient Arabic literature, love is classified into seven different shades.Dil Se is a journey through these 7 shades of love. The feelings are as old as mankind, only the circumstances have changed.

Hub - (eyes meet,it is like a touch...a spark...) Attraction

Uns - (the touch of the eyes was as if, it was...) Infatuation

Ishq - (the flame of her body is felt, his breath starts igniting...) Love

Aquidat - (she touches him like a whisper, as if silence is mixed in her eyes, he prays, a little consciously, a little unconsciously...) Reverence

Ibaadat - (he is entangled on her path, entangled in her arms love now turns to...) Worship

Junoon - (living is an obsession... dying is an obsession... apart from this there is no peace...) Obsession

Maut - (let him rest in the lap of death... let him drown his body in her soul...) Death

Lovers Live

2009-02-06T02:24:00.004+08:00

Loving Sade

Saddening

2009-01-24T11:39:00.001+08:00

SO MUCH HATE!! HOW DOES ONE LIVE IN THE WORLD??

2009-01-24T11:39:00.000+08:00

SO MUCH HATE!! HOW DOES ONE LIVE IN THE WORLD??

Lameo Lame Pick Up Lines

2009-01-24T01:12:00.003+08:00

I wonder what a girl would say if a guy came up to her and said :

You better change the lock 'cause I'm the key to your heart.

Or

You smell, lets go take a shower.

Or

Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.

Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

AND

Girl, your body is a wonderland, and I want to be Alice so that I can run around all over you!!

Plea..

2009-01-17T17:02:00.002+08:00

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.

Many a person has expressed to me about how they want to see Israel destroyed and razed to the ground. They earnestly pray for it too.

I, by no means am a Zionist. I understand why people hate Israel too and believe they have very valid reasons.

But guys and girls, whom I think of highly and respect you as good and upright people, please do not descend into hate. Hate will never solve anything in this world. Show love even to the murderers and rapists and terrorists in this world because that will change them.

I sound like an idealist, but have Faith and the strength to carry it out. My prayers are with you all.

2009-01-08T02:41:00.005+08:00

Mother, mother
There's too many of you crying

Brother, brother, brother
There's far too many of you dying

You see, war is not the answer

For only love can conquer hate

I Wanna

2009-01-05T09:25:00.002+08:00

Be the kinda person, who does the right things. I don't just mean the big things, where right and wrong are easy and obvious. I wanna be the kinda person who does the small things, the subtle unnoticed things. Because it's so easy to let those small things are so easy to slip away. And really, these are the things who shape us into who we really are, day to day.

Reformation to walk the talk.

2009-01-05T02:27:00.001+08:00

This is not just the same old message with new methods. We're rediscovering Christianity as an Eastern religion, as a way of life. Legal metaphors for faith don't deliver a way of life. We grew up in churches where people knew the nine verses why we don't speak in tongues, but had never experienced the overwhelming presence of God.

Longest :)

2008-12-31T00:58:00.003+08:00

Was just chatting with Yan a couple hours ago, and somehow we came to the topic of the longest words in english.

Lo and behold (kudos to wiki), THE LIST!

The longest word in any of the major English language dictionaries is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a word which refers to a lung disease contracted from the inhalation of very fine silica particles, specifically from a volcano. Research has discovered that this word was originally a hoax.

In his play Assemblywomen (Ecclesiazousae), the ancient Greek comedic playwright Aristophanes created a word of 183 letters which describes a dish by stringing together its ingredients:

Lopadotemakhoselakhogameokranioleipsanodrimypotrimmatosilphiokarabomelitokatakekhymenokikhlepikossyphophattoperister-alektryonoptokephalliokigklopeleiolagōiosiraiobaphētraganopterýgōn,

Henry Carey's farce Chrononhotonthologos (1743) holds the opening line: "Aldiborontiphoscophornio! Where left you Chrononhotonthologos?"

James Joyce made up nine 101-letter words in his novel Finnegans Wake, the most famous of which is Bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk. Appearing on the first page, it allegedly represents the symbolic thunderclap associated with the fall of Adam and Eve. As it appears nowhere else except in reference to this passage, it is generally not accepted as a real word.

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious", the 34-letter title of a song from the movie Mary Poppins, does appear in several dictionaries, but only in reference to the song title. The attributed meaning is "a word that you say when you don't know what to say."

"The holy Jah" is a 4.4-million-letter word in "Marienbad My Love" by Mark Leach. It is comprised of pieces of various words from the world's faiths and means "god within".

"Babyoubiquitouse...oiletub" is a 2,087,214-letter word which occupies almost all Nigel Tomm's novel The Blah Story, Volume 10 and means something like a girl or a bitch.

And I thought pengosomokawalaturan was long :)

Can you Love me?

2008-12-30T03:31:00.001+08:00

I really don't know why I like to stay up late nights, especially as there is a lecture tomorrow which I'm so surely gonna sleep at if I don't sleep right this very second.

And the worst part is that my mind is trying to convince me I won't feel tired if I watch United play till 5.30 am.

Anyways, Christmas was really fun!! 1 muscial, 2 dinners and a HUGE party!! Feeling tired after all the fun I had over the past week.

Speaking about the muscial, it was at my cousin's church, and it did raise some pretty deep questions about my spiritual life.

If we're so in sin that we don't even wanna love ourselves, how does God love us? And more importantly, how do we love someone who's a wreck?

Can you love me?

Twilight..

2008-12-23T22:56:00.003+08:00

Today I was college watching it with my some of the people I sayang. Yan, Fad, Anushya and Charlotte. Had many thoughts about how the movie was going to be like, especially since some people said it was nice and some said the opposite.

Personally, I think it's nice but not GREAT. Maybe a very respectable 7/10. Lots of plot elements and book stuff were taken out to make the movie move faster. I don't particularly mind that, but the best part was the essence of all the romance was there, and it fueled you with this "ah....." feeling.

Maybe should say something about my thoughts. Of course Edward Cullen doesn't really exist, but I can't help but feel intimidated by his character. I mean, he's brave and romantic and extremely able, but I'm not. Kinda makes me feel bad for not being the 'perfect guy' for a very deserving girl.

Overall, I loved the movie, but even more than that, I love the people I was with. I feel very at peace with them around. Even though Yan and Anushya were like oooh and ahhhing every 5 minutes (literally!!), and drove Charlotte and myself crazy, with Fad stuck in the middle.

Wouldn't be the same without them.

Life is PEOPLE!

OR

2008-12-23T00:13:00.002+08:00

All I Want For Christmas..

2008-12-23T00:07:00.002+08:00

Would Someone be so kind to get me one? I've been so left out picture-wise..

I LOVE SOPPY SONNETS

2008-12-16T02:43:00.001+08:00

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

But this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

The Hundreth Post.

2008-12-14T23:31:00.002+08:00

Well, I didn't think my blog would make it this far honestly..

Anyways, just back in Cyberjaya after a week of holidays. Seriously A WEEK IS NOT ENOUGH!!

Maybe the new Student Council should petition for more holidays!?

FRIDAY/SAT/SUNDAY was church Lock In!! (FUNFUN!!). Shall post pics when I get em!

I Hate

2008-12-05T09:56:00.001+08:00

Staying up to mug all night on Thursdays *YAWN!*

A Thought

2008-12-04T00:08:00.001+08:00

I think people are worth time. Even though it’s gonna kill you trying to help them, try you must.

I don’t know why I’m this way, maybe God gave me this gene to be unable to be indifferent or ignorant of others.

In no way, I want to promote myself. I’m just humbled by His gifts. Who am I, that He should care for me?

In the same way, when we look at other people that ‘are not worth our time’, who are they that we should care for them?

If the Creator of the Universe would give his only Son for me, a wreck, lost and unworthy person, why shouldn’t I give mine for this person?

Maybe this is why I wanna be a doctor.

2008-12-03T01:37:00.003+08:00

Amen To That.

Messages From Manchester

2008-12-02T02:27:00.003+08:00

To Liverpool:
You are leading the league illegally, better settle for number 2 or else kaboom..we will make you disappear.

To Chelsea:
Better sack Scolari sooner or he suck you all to nowhere. FYI, you can’t do anything but watch Red Devils ascending to power. Yes We Can!!

To Arsenal/ Wenger:
Consistency… consistency ma guys and stop comparing yourself with Man U. Yeah, we lost five games last season and we went on to win the league but you you smokeless gunners, you will keep on loosing some more games. Remember Hull/Stoke??..lol

2008-11-21T01:07:00.000+08:00

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning grey

Believe.

2008-11-01T01:07:00.000+08:00

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood

Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we knew we could

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
To swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

This Is Home

2008-10-17T05:03:00.002+08:00

Somehow, Switchfoot Songs always touch my heart and feels like God's reaching out through the songs.

This is home
Now I'm finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching
For a place of my own
Now I've found it
Yeah, this is home
Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery
I've seen the enemy
And I won't go back
Back to how it was
And I've got my heart
Set on
What happens next
I've got my eyes wide
And it's not over yet
We are miracles
And we're not alone

(Chorus)

And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home
I've got
A brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I'm gonna call it home

It's Over

2008-09-16T02:43:00.000+08:00

Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
help me talk to Him
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
lets pray?
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
help
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
yes
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
please do
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
Dear Heavenly Father,
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
God of abraham, God of love
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
GOd of naveen & me,
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
God of everyone even if they are not aware of it..
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
we just wanna come before u Lord,
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
today, now, to Thank yOu for all the thIngs u hav kept us safe from,
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
the hurricanes tonardoes etc..
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
helped us not forget we are blessed in times of heartache & sadness...
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
i wanna dedicate thIs time to u,
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
to lift up naveen in your hands...
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
he's greatly troubled, fearing that he might lose faith in u..
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
fearing that he may not b strong enough...
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
confused by earthly lOve...
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
is it a test u are putting hIm through Lord?
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
we may never knowwhat u hav planned..
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
but may u continue to guide naveen in hIs walk through life
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
through sch..
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
through relationshIps..
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
thank you for letting hIm feel yOur presence,
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
for releasing some of hIs troubles..
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
to let hIm feel more at ease..
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
I pray Lord,
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
taht as the days come, yOu'll continue to work in their lives,
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
and may thINgs turn out as u hav planned
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
not as what we'll like
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
but may we leave it in your hands & not blame you when thIngs dont gO our way...
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
dear Lord,
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
please bless Naveen with your lOve n favour, that u might use hIm as an instrument of yOur lOve n Peace..
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
In Jesus name,
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
God
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
Father
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
help
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
help
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
help
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
help me remember
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
your Love and Wisdom and Mercy
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
that I made a stand for You today
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
and I picked You over someone that meant the world
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
and for her, I was her World
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
pray
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
that it'll be made easier
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
for her especially
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
I deserve this grief
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
maybe
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
it's a fraction of the pain You felt when You sent Your Son to the cross
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
and watched him cry in pain and agony
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
My sadness, is nothing compared to that
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
but yet it burns my bones
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
help
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
give me relief, please
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
and Lord, this day
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
help me reaffirm
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
that You are Lord and Master
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
of me
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
and not others
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
nor myself
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
Jesus Name
Teach Me How To Breathe With No Air.. says:
Amen
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
in Jesus name we Pray,
*~vron-- ooo a 5yr old boy more gentleman than any other guys!! ATLANTA!..i Like my job!! =)... ♪esus lives in my ♥♫~ says:
Amen

Back For A While

2008-08-27T14:21:00.002+08:00

I know, I know, I HAVEN'T Been blogging.

Which is Bad.

Anyways, been in CUCMS 3 weeks, and I'm having mixed feelings. One one hand is the wonderful gang I'm with, and the variety of people and activities here. And honestly, I love having something to do besides loitering at home for 4 months. On the other, OVERFILLED hand, have LOADS of work. Classes from 8 to 5, SCL (the new, fab name for Tutorials), Lab Reports, and STUDY!! Weekly tests every FRIDAY people! (Panic!!).

But still, its been good, and God has been good to me here.

Room mates aren't like the ones in Matriculation. They're clean, hardworking, and they STUDY.

Also, such friends, outside the church as I've not had in a long time. Jason, Yan Chi, Sheron, Wei Xian, Anusyha, Ajeet, Chitam, Kamini (the lunch gang) and so many others who make this a better place for me to be in (you know who you are).

I'm tired mostly, but God, and my friends have been my strength.

Also got A- for the past two tests. Can SURELY be better, cause I missed A by 1.7 marks both times.

Things are Good

I Miss her

Till next post.

Something cool!

2008-08-26T18:14:00.004+08:00

Leeched this from Yan Chyi's blog.

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle/Random
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

Opening Credits:
Mimpi Yang Sempurna (A Perfect Dream)- Peterpan Pretty Good Start :)

Waking Up:
Daughters- John Mayer (One of my favourite waking up songs, nice)

First Day At School:
With Arms Wide Open- Creed (Started off this way, then regretting it till now)

Falling in love:
Into The Sun- Lifehouse (Just the way it should be)

Breaking Up:

Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol (Hoping one will run over me?)

Life's OK:
R-Evolve - 30 Seconds To Mars (Yep, Life revolves alright)

Mental Breakdown:
I'm Yours- Jason Mraz (What people get when I sing this song to them)

Driving:

King Nothing- Metallica (Reflects on my Driving)

Flashback:
Empty- Click Five (*speechless*)

Getting Back Together:
Jodi Jodi Jodi (Perfect Match)- Guru OST (PERFECT!)

Wedding:
The Last Song- All-American Rejects (Last Song before the end of life as you know it)

Birth of Child:
Easier To Be- Lifehouse (Its easier to be, than not to be)

Final Battle:
My Immortal - Evanescence (Guess I'll win?)

Death Scene:
Breath No More - Evanescence (dots.)

Funeral Song:
One - Metallica (One Life people!)

Sex Scene:
What Goes Around/Comes Around- Justin Timberlake (omg lol.)

Dance Sequence:
Why Go?? - Faithless (WOW, great dance track too, be sure to check out the Music Video for this)

End Credits:
Its Not Over- Chris Daughtry (Lol, it never is! Life goes on)

This is friggin random.

Going Back to The Grind

2008-08-06T00:23:00.004+08:00

Here we go again.

Back to the books

Oh, the Torture

But then again, a spring in my step as I'm going to take my first step to learn how to save people

My Life's Calling

Headed to Uni tomorrow

Nervous, excited and dreading it..

Ah, now back to the packing

A Gerry To My Holly

2008-07-28T15:32:00.005+08:00

“P.S I Love You is a romantic drama movie about a woman whose husband has just passed away. But later she discovers that her late husband has left her a list of tasks. Each task will be revealed after she complete the previous task. All tasks will complete in 10 months. These tasks intended to ease her out of grief and transition her to a new life. The movie is adapted from a the best-selling Cecelia Ahern novel.”

Now, I know I'm really sensitive and all, but God, I almost cried watching this..

I know I'm a Gerry to my Holly

And That makes life worth living.

Did you know??

2008-07-26T16:27:00.000+08:00

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in
May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting
to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.
Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house
had the privilege of the nice clean water, the n all the other sons and
men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By
then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence
the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water..

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood
underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the
cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it
rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall
off the roof. Hence the saying It's raining cats and dogs.
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed
a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess
up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung
over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into
existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get
slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor
to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more
thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping
outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying
a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that
always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things
to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They
would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold
overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in
it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge
hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old..

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It
was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon. They would
cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew
the fat..

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content
caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning
death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years
or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of
the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the
upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would
sometimes knock a person out for a couple of days. Someone walking along
the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were
laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would
gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.
Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of
places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the
bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these
coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the
inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they
would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the
coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would
have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to
listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was
considered a ...dead ringer..

And that's the truth. Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !

2008-07-23T10:35:00.003+08:00

I've just been reviewing my life through pictures lately (for a lack of a better thing to do) so I've just noticed something that sorta makes me worried.

I'VE GOT NO PICTURES OF MYSELF FOR THIS OR THE PAST YEAR!!

Well, quite eye opening.

A PLEA.

If anyone has any pictures of me (preferably of the last two years), pretty PLEASE send them to my email account at naveen_kabillan@hotmail.com

THANKS!

It Is We Who Are Disabled Instead

2008-07-21T11:25:00.002+08:00

*updates on the Gunung Angsi Trip and serving the children and mentally diabled from the Vinashini Home Orphanage will be up as soon as the pictures/videos come*

Am Super Super Suuuuupeeeeeer tired today after a crazy weekend of hiking and traveling. It's really been fun though I'm black and blue in some places and have probably lost a pint of blood to leeches. Knees aren't doing too well either.

Yesterday heard a sermon which could be described to be life changing. Learning to see Church, The Bible and Christianity in a different light is extremely refreshing for a weary soul.

Wish I could write more in this post, but suspense and secrecy needed for the posts later ya?

Sorry Danny..

Till then.

Mountains Galore..

2008-07-14T13:08:00.002+08:00

Since Uni hasn't started, I'm desperate to find ways to fill my time. Seriously quite bored here, till I'm driven to do crazy things (how about watching The Matrix till I know every line of the movie?)

Really gotta get in shape. In my opinion (though my family begs to differ) I do think I'm in an OK state physically. Unfortunately for me, the Seremban Youths have planned a mountain hike this very Saturday. Double Unfortunate that a great deal of the seasoned hikers in the church are coming down too! Uncle Kok Bin, Jeremiah (Cassy's Dad), David Ting (Reagan's Dad), Chong Seng (Chye Leng's Dad), Edwin Choy (Cailin's Dad), and Wong Suen (Xiang's Dad)

To add to the competition are my super fit comrades from the Seremban CoC. These people love for mountains, very much unlike me who lives for my computer.

Guess I should prepare to get my butt kicked by a bunch of my friend's Dads?

2008-07-10T13:54:00.005+08:00

Been really really bored lately. My bro Mit laft for College last Sunday, so every morning, its basically me and myself at home. Since there is so many DvDs in my collection, I'm currently left with nothing to do in the mornings.

Can't wait to get into Medical School. Wanna learn something new so so much.

Life's really different without my brothers around. I didn't really feel it back in College since you've always got lotsa things on your mind and hands, but right now,without anything much to do, it gets pretty lonely..

Well, it's part of life, we all move along, and soon, I must too.

Am addicted to

Makes Life Worth Living

2008-07-07T12:04:00.000+08:00

*~vron-- THIS is D day D Lord has made! supply o sent 7/7/2008 1:07 AM:
LOVE U bro!!
*~vron-- THIS is D day D Lord has made! supply o sent 7/7/2008 1:07 AM:
=D

Yawn..

2008-07-05T12:11:00.002+08:00

Good Morning (12.15pm is still morning for me)

Must apologize for lack of updates on the blog. Been through a tough time recently, lotsa turmoil. Everything's fine now, and I'm heading to MED SCHOOL!! YAY!!

I've got a LACK of focus!! Hence the LACK of blogging initiative..

I've got huge cracks/blisters/hurting thingys on my feet. Smart me had to go play 'street' soccer without shoes/slippers. Arrrgh, I hate the asphalt..

Am suddenly into Nirvana and Metallica again..

The aims for this month are:

1) Blog More
2) Lose 5kg (it's been done k)
3) Start picking up reading the Bible Daily
4) Get FOCUSED
5) COME SINGAPORE

Ahh... Glorious, glorious Singapore on my mind.. Wonder if I'll get dunked in the pool again.

Well, its not out of Soymilk's reach :)

I'm loving God

When The City Sleeps

2008-06-30T00:15:00.004+08:00

When the city sleeps, the chill of loneliness is bitter..

As cold as the snow ..

Inside the four glass walls, me and a candlelight

How lonely... how agonizing...

You're not here to put me to sleep with your melody

You're not here to kiss me in moonlight with a cup of coffee in the morning

You're not here to fuss over me when dirt falls into my eyes

You're not here to clear the confusions of my heart

I'm here, you're there, the loneliness makes the minutes as long as years

The sky is here but the blue is there, how true it becomes!!

A hundred times I wrote your name in my planner

As I wrote, ants crept all over, did your name turn into honey?

Results..Results.. Results..

2008-03-11T10:17:00.000+08:00

GOOD LUCK SPM/STPM CANDIDATES!!

Post Mortem

2008-03-10T13:29:00.002+08:00

Hear Us,The Govt

We Have SPOKEN

FEAR US NOW

As We All Fly By..

2008-03-06T22:01:00.003+08:00

It's just hit me like a ton of bricks. A few days ago, me and some other friends got together to celebrate a birthday. Jira turned 19. So, will I, soon.

It's been super unbelievable. I feel as if its the first day I stepped into this College, yet its been almost ten long months. Yet, I remember it like it happened yesterday.

Where has all the time gone to??

Missing all the Church, its been forever since I visited PJ or Wangsa and never have been to Puchong.

Even missed Chye Hoong's wedding.

Is there More to Life than studies and grades??

Your Clock's Ticking, is it ticking with/for Jesus?

Or someone else..

Welcome to the Planet
Welcome to Existence

If You're Pissed Off, Count Me In..

2008-02-26T22:13:00.004+08:00

3 weeks of bliss, and it all comes up to this. A screeching halt to what has been one of the best periods of a damned life in this college. The past weeks have I've been so happy with Ainaa by my side, that whatever this college could serve at me,I went on smiling away like a retard.

Well, its all come to a dead stop. By that, I do mean DEAD. Don't worry ladies and gentlemen, we haven't broke up yet, and we're still going strong (which is something to thank the Lord for). What actually happened, so follows.

Coming to the library after Chem lab, I was informed by a mutual friend of Ainaa and myself, Jaslyn, that this Chinese Lecturer apparently warned me about having lunch with Ainaa at our cafeteria this afternoon. " Please the your friend not to do it in public anymore, please. People are watching them". What is 'it'?? Well, 'it' was sitting together in public.

Now, this is the part that gets me. We're being watched. The ustaz and ustazah (thats the equivalent of pastors to Muslims) are watching our every move. Personally, thats fine with me. Obviously they're concerned over what I do with Ainaa.

Well, they're not too innocent. You see, those hypocrites are only watching 3 couples. Myself and Ainaa, Jeeva and Liz, and Nathan and Andri. Yup, you've guessed it!! We're all Indians with a Malay gf. Since the Chinese folk here have enough sense to shun the Malay girls they don't get into this sort of thing. Ok, now, the other clincher.

Now, a Malay couple can get away with rape here if they want to. See, they're not as heavily watched as we are. So, there have been cases (notice the s in case's') where condoms were found all over the place where known Malay couples hang out. What happened? Your guess is as good as mine, but sure as hell they weren't expelled.

Why the double standard? Is this what Islam is about?? The literal meaning of the word Islam is Submisson. I guess this is what they're trying to make us do. Submit. What's up with my skin colour to them, I don't know. But they're watching.

I Rather They Just Shove A Leash Up My Ass

The First 1000

2008-02-16T09:21:00.002+08:00

Here's To The First Thousand People

That Shared Tears, Loves, Joys, Sorrows

With undeserving me

God Keep Me Going!!

Results..

2008-02-14T11:14:00.002+08:00

Chemistry (SK 027) - A

Mathematics (QS o27) - A

Biology (SB 027) - B!!

Sighs, it should have been an easy A if weren't for that stupid mistake of switching my answers. As the following questions were dependent on the first, I managed to lose 10 WHOLE MARKS on that (10/40 x 100 = 25!!!). Then ended up with a brilliant B. Mum sounds kinda disappointed, and obviously I am too.

Ainaa's pretty depressed. Even though she put a massive amount of effort (I could never match her), she didn't quite get the results she wanted. I'm feeling personally VERY GUILTY. What if it was because of me? That I distracted her too much? Worst of all, I don't even know what I can do to even make her feel better. Nothing I'll say or do will work. Currently, I would say I pretty much suck at being a good bf. Feeling depressed as I love her, and I can stand to see her that way.

God, please make her better.

Happy Valentine.

Aiyooo Kena Tagged!!

2008-02-13T09:47:00.000+08:00

Why people do this, don't know.. But Here's 50 Random Facts (REALLY RANDOM) * Tabby in Glee*.

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
- face? ( PERPETUALLY SLEEPY LA)

2. Do you like coffee?
~Depends what you define coffee as... Nescafe, COOL!! Asphalt Colombian Expresso.. SOrry!

3. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
~in love, confused, tired, hurt...

4. Do you like anyone? If so, who?
~ermm, a bit obvious on this one.. Ainaa

5. Do you say aim or a-i-m?
- aim ( why is this question even on here??)

6. Tell me about the last dream you
remember having last night?
~no dreams fo a LOOOOONNNNGGGG TIIIMMMMEEE

7. What are you craving right now?
~sudden craving for Wan Tan ( wink wink Jacob) Mee...

8. What are you doing at this moment
yesterday?
~Boring Microscope work, Lab experiments...

9. What comes to mind when I say
cabbage?
~leafy??

10. Would you dance to the taco song?
~ermm, why not??

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
~you think I so free ar??

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or
just lick it?
~both..

18. Do you use smilies?
~not really... emoticons more my thing ( the infamous kick1)

19. Do you own any pets? If so, what
are they?
~Dog- Deco

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?
~Lol, Reshmonu's my Cousin man.. Anyways, Sheena Sherm oso enough Celebs addy.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
~yums!

22. What song are you listening to
right now?
~Bubbly ( Ainaa's Fave )

23. Do you ever thought that u might be
gay?
~and is there a reason I should??

24. Are your parents strict?
- Lol, most understanding pair in the wide world ( and no, not being sarcastic)

25. Would you go sky diving?
~hell yeah!!

26. Would you go out to eat with
~anyone who's hungry

27. Would you throw potatoes at him?
~unbelivable waste of food??

28. Is there anything sparkly in the
room you're in?
~nope ( dull huh )

30. Do you rent movies often?
~nah, piracy ma.. Rm4 oni wanna rent some more le?

31. Who sits in front of you in your
math class?
~ermm, I'm in front??

34. Can you count backwards from 74?
~should be... 74, 73, 72, 71...

35. Who are you going to be with on
Saturday night?
~hopefully with a good book...

36. Brown or white eggs?
- white!!

38. Ever taken a train?
~how else to get to Singapore on 60 bucks?...

39. Experienced the twin towers
falling in New York?
~Watched the thing LIVE

40. Do you have a mobile phone?
~Necessity of this world? Ainaa I need the smses!!

41. What day of the week is it?
- Wednesday ( feels like Monday )

42. What was your Lunch?
~10.04 am right now..

43. Ever had cream puffs?
~YUM YUM!!

44. What was the last question you
asked?
~Is Chem Friends Nice??

48. What was the last cd you bought?
~Dido- Life for Rent ( Mostly File share lar.. )

49. Panties or Thong? ; Boxers or
Boxer Briefs?
~Boxer Briefs?

50. What is/was your bus number for
school?
~Lol dun remember.. Kindergarden lar...

Happy CNY

2008-02-06T23:57:00.001+08:00

HAPPY CNY PPL!!

Pretty Straightforward yea?? Hahahaha!! So, I'm back home safely. Missing Ainaa a lot. Eyes shutting as I write. NEEEEEEEEEEEED SLEEEEEEEEEEEP!!

Back To Basics..

2008-02-06T14:20:00.000+08:00

Seriously, this is the first real post I've done in a long time. Things have gone by so fast that I don't even have time to blog about them (or perhaps its really because I'm plain lazy). Well, I'm back with a new resolve, and back for good ( I hope ). Feel terrible just leaving this blog to rot here actually, but at the same time so malas to blog.. Sighs, why don't people focus on inventing mind controlled computers instead of focusing on cloning tech? Makes all our lives easier. And better, no need to upload photos from Cameras anymore!! Visualize and voilla!!
First ever major fight with my brother. We've never spoken to each other like that before. Understandable why he said such things, but that doesn't give him the license to say that. Not talking to each other at the present, though I would love to. Its just about being the bigger guy I guess, and at the moment I'm feeling pretty small.
Ainaa, the girl that walked right into the section in my heart that God made for her. Feel confused on where to classify her though, she's not much like other Malay people around. She leads a pretty western lifestyle ( violin and ballet, clothings ) but fundamentally very very conservative ( no photos together!! ). Not at all Malay but yet everything. Feeling confused and slightly sorry for myself though, but falling deeper and deeper in love with her each day . Praying hard that God leads her to Him, even though He might not have plans for us to be together. I sure pray He does.
Life=Tiring. Classes, Projects, Lab Reports ( yes, LAB REPORTS ladies and gentlemen ). Quizzes next week to keep me on my wrinkly toes.
Missing Church badly. Missing Christians badly. Relationship with God has been at its strongest though, because here, I'm being challenged everyday. I get through thanks to the prayers pouring in by all my loved ones.
Feel guilty about abandoning friends. Jeremy ( both Malaysian and Singaporean ), Moo, Selwyn ( Christian Lecture mate ). Sigh, talk about my New Year's Resolution of keeping my Priorities Straight!!

I'm going home, soon ( few hours time to be exact ). Mixed feelings.

Happy CNY to ALL..

Mass Destruction

2008-01-30T12:29:00.000+08:00

Whether long range weapon or suicide bomber
Wicked mind is a weapon of mass destruction
Whether you're soar away sun or BBC 1
Misinformation is a weapon of mass destruc
You could a Caucasian or a poor Asian
Racism is a weapon of mass destruction
Whether inflation or globalization
Fear is a weapon of mass destruction

My dad came into my room holding his hat
I knew he was leaving,
he sat on my bed told me some facts, son.
I have a duty, calling on me
You and your sister be brave my little soldier
And don't forget all I told ya
Your the mister of the house now remember this
And when you wake up in the morning give ya momma a kiss
Then I had to say goodbye

In the morning woke momma with a kiss on each eyelid,
Even though I'm only a kid
Certain things can't be hid
Momma grabbed me
Held me like I was made of gold
But left her inner stories untold
I said, momma it will be alright
When daddy comes home, tonight

[CHORUS]

Whether long range weapon or suicide bomber
Wicked mind is a weapon of mass destruction
Whether you're soar away sun or BBC 1
Misinformation is a weapon of mass destruc
You could a Caucasian or a poor Asian
Racism is a weapon of mass destruction
Whether inflation or globalization
Fear is a weapon of mass destruction

Whether Halliburton or Enron or anyone
Greed is a weapon of mass destruction

We need to find courage, overcome
Inaction is a weapon of mass destruction
Inaction is a weapon of mass destruction
INACTION is a weapon of mass destruction

[CHORUS]

Just how many centuries have we been
waiting for someone else to make us free
And we refuse to see
That people overseas suffer just like we
Bad leadership and ego's unfettered and free
Who feed on the people they're supposed to lead
I don't need good people to pray and wait
For the lord to make it all straight
There's only now, do it right.
Cos I don't want your daddy, leaving home tonight

[CHORUS]

One of the Lyrics of a Song by Faithless that really struck me. Why worry about nukes, wars. The real WMDs are among us. WAKE UP!!

Where Has The Year Gone??

2007-12-09T04:39:00.000+08:00

I'm here, on the edge of year 2007, looking over at the coming year. I'm unsure how to react to it. On one hand, I look at it with anticipation , but on the other, with plenty of fear. Next year will see me make decisions on what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. Doctor, Dentist, Teacher, Garbage Man, who knows?? The new year is always a new beginning. I haven't been the best of Christians my whole life, but this year really saw me Repainting my Christian Faith. I believe this year's worth of joys, sorrows, tribulations and celebrations taught me more about myself and God then any of the previous others. I want to bring that over into the New Year. Let not the Fire in My Bones be put out O' Lord.

I'm not alone, going into this year. I've got my Family ( Biological and Spiritual ). I've got Church. I've got Friends. I've got Ainaa, I've got GOD. God, you've been good to me. So many people don't have the blessings above, but you gave them to me. I'm so undeserving O'Lord. What am I, that You are mindful of me?

If the year 2008 is anything like this year, I might not survive it. I've lost James, Selvam Periamma (Aunt), and so many others. What if I lose Veron, lose Tabitha, lose Jeremoo, lose my Mum, lose my brothers, my Dad?? Lord, I'm not afraid to walk in the valley of the shadow of Death, but what if my loved ones walk it. I can't bear that.

But So many good things have happened this year too. Payap, Cambodia, getting into the College I'm in, good results, Ainaa, CF at College and so many others. Life is so Beautiful too. It just depends on where you look at. God, thank You for my ability to see that.

I'm not Alone, Take my Hand..

Singapore..

2007-11-10T01:54:00.000+08:00

Man, it's been a long while since I felt this refreshed. I guess this trip put things into perspective for me. It's been a good trip, feel loved again, getting that dying spark back into me. Where am I at?? Why, Singapore of course!! Lolz, today was officially a first 'full' day in this new place ( not counting Stingray Dinner with Danny of course )!! It's Super, Super, SUPER fun with this guys ( + 2 girls ). Well starting off my Adventure, I make my way to Paya Lebar MRT ( Passing Jia Ni's house on the way ). First sight of MRTs, and its not too different from the LRTs back home, but they've got WAY much more seating places though. Anyways, today's plan was to meet Veron + Jeremoo at the station at 1230. Wells, the original plab was to meet at 1330, so when Veron didn't show up after an hour, I didn't think much of it. Wells, when hasn't turned up after 2, now that's time to panic!! So at 1430, I set off looking for a money changer ( mind you, didn't have a single Singaporean cent to Spend ). People, if you've never travelled without money, please DON'T TRY IT. Trust me, it gets you STRANDED. Wells, then after wandering wandering wandering, I finally bump into a God Given Money Changer, and get my first Singaporean notes ( whoopie!! ). Then call up Veron + Gang, find out they're in Bugis, a mere 4 stations away. 3 hours gone.. Earlier, I was actually afraid that Veron met in an accident on the way to pick me!! Oh well, I see her, safe and sound, with Moo, and thats well worth 3 hours wait. Then 1st appearence of Evan in my life, a real shocker!! Lolz, creep up behind me and scare me, what a way to greet poor tourists!! Wells, she's funness Incarnate, and all 4 of us went to get my 1st Neoprints ( ever!! ). Pretty good pictures, a and love the ones I have. Neoprints are such a bonding experience, watching Evan and Veron tap away on those comp screens with the pens was hillarious!! Ahh, then Danny and Josh pop by, making us a sixsome. Went to MoS Burger, pretty cool place.. Hang out for around 2 hours, talking away, Super Super, SUPER nice!! Anyways, after that went for POOL, and guess what? I'm CMI at pool!! Josh on the other hand, super good. Learnt a new way of playing, cut throat, taught personally by Danny. Then met Daniel for chicken rice dinner, and then hung out at Evan's school! Gosh, you'll never find a place like that in M'sia!! Then, purposely went back from there by bus instead of MRT ( it takes an extra 45 mins ) to Danny's place. Had a heart warming chat, I miss doing such things. ( Will blog abt SoyMilk Cell soon!!)

Oh, How Far the Fall

2007-11-06T11:36:00.000+08:00

It's been refreshing to be back home and to be able to deeply think about the real mess I've made of myself over the past 6 months, especially in college. Being there, you really gte plenty of freedom to do what you want to do, especially with my parents being 5 hours away from wrangling my neck. Bottomline, I've been distracted. Not only am I facing massive problems with studies, but I'm feeling lukewarm towards God right now. I feel its better to be back struggling with porn, than to lose my first love, Jesus. At least when you're fighting something, you feel God's LOVE more and more. But what if it doesn't prick your heart anymore?? What if your heart grows Stone Cold, and you incapable of loving God anymore. Because (Loving God= Loving People as they are), I'm losing my spark. I always believed that the thing that mades me different from the world, is that I love everyone, and try to see always the best in them. But now, I become, impatient, irritable, angry, foul mouthed. And I tried to remedy it. Most people would try prayer and forgiveness, but I forgot. You see, I became rapidly popular among the college community, especially among the girls, and I admit, it really got to my head. I don't know why, but I just went after every girl I could. So unlike my old self. Terrible me. I think I should admit I went after almost 6 or 7 girls in these months, so I should feel a little guilty about it. Undoubtably, I forsook my studies. I thought I could mug close to the exams and everything would be alright. Well, I was stupid. Even during study week, I played around and now I'm regretting it. Chemistry is Doomed, and Math probabaly as well. God saved my neck in Bio. Now, I probably flunked my first Semester, and if I do, its curtains for my Medical dreams. The extent of the damage will only be known on Dec 3. God help me!! I'm sorry I didn't come to you when I should have, I was proud, so proud. I thought I could fix it myself, while I put You in the back seat. Now I've driven myself into the middle of nowhere. Please God, I'm not even worthy of it, but help clean this mess for me God. Amen. (Typical behaviour of people, the Search for something more makes someone put God behind, and think they're the best.)

Finally, I POST!!

2007-10-13T13:14:00.000+08:00

Hey, I tried this Brain Thing, it's pretty FUN!! Go Check it out at http://www.mindmedia.com/brainworks/profiler

Naveen, you exhibit an even balance between left- and right- hemisphere dominance and a slight preference for visual over auditory processing. With a score this balanced, it is likely that you would have slightly different results each time you complete this self-assessment quiz.

You are a well-rounded person, distinctly individualistic and artistic, an active and multidimensional learner. At the same time, you are logical and disciplined, can operate well within an organization, and are sensitive towards others without losing objectivity. You are organized and goal-directed. Although a "thinking" individual, you "take in" entire situations readily and can act on intuition.

You sometimes tend to vacillate in your learning styles. Learning might take you longer than someone of equal intellect, but you will tend to be more thorough and retain the material longer than those other individuals. You will alternate between logic and impulse. This vacillation will not normally be intentional or deliberate, so you may experience anxiety in situations where you are not certain which aspect of yourself will be called on.

With a slight preference for visual processing, you tend to be encompassing in your perceptions, process along multidimensional paths and be active in your attacking of situations or learning.

Overall, you should feel content with your life and yourself. You are, perhaps, a little too critical of yourself -- and of others -- while maintaining an "openness" which tempers that tendency. Indecisiveness is a problem and your creativity may not be in keeping with your potential. Being a pragmatist, you downplay this aspect of yourself and focus on the more immediate, obvious and the more functional..

Interesting Huh??

I Didn't Know This Was a Christian Band!!!

2007-07-12T15:55:00.000+08:00

Switchfoot : Dare You To Move..

Welcome to the Planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the Fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

Can You Keep a Secret??

2007-07-06T09:08:00.000+08:00

Pssst, just found the bestest Picture in the WHOLE WODE WORLD!!! Check it out, Check It out.. http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2091968175

LOVE IT!! Love that person heaps as well..

Off to PJ, 25th Anniversary!!

OOPS, Gtg, Lecturer Whacking me *OUCH!!*

60th Post..

2007-06-28T15:45:00.000+08:00

Happy 60th to me!!! (and thats for the post NOT the age!!). Good to see my blog hasn't died out in almost 2 and a 1/2 years of operation, though many a time I wanted to shift addresses. Get a clean start, as they say. Wells, I'm having a real roller coaster ride here, and it's pretty scary, to say the least.
Being in college, isn't the nicest thing in the world. Sure you've got the freedom, and the friends, and the girls, but wells, there's a search for something more. Something more.. Godly.. In the middle of nowhere, surrounded by heaps and heaps of musilms, ironically I'm closest to God. God provides, as we all know. It's not in God's nature not to take good care of His people. The Shepard that leaves the 99 sheep behind and goes looking for the one lost one. Oh, the Love that will not let me go.
I've accidentally left my Bible in my home, and I'm spiritually starving. It's really amazing, and how much I'm starting to hunger for the Milk of The Word. I wouldn't have given a second thought about not reading the Bible in the past, but now, I'm somehow driven to want to read it?! God works in mysterious ways. I've been trying to keep up a good prayer life, but often times just 'can't find the time'. I'm being stupid here. How can I not find the time for the One that made time itself?? The One who puts my every breath in me? God help me.
People have been wanting to sleep with me. Wowzers, that came as a surprise. With my background in Porn, do not doubt that I've been tempted sorely. But Jesus, He's still saving me. Helping me through my weakness. Even though I walk in the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil. No Evil at all. I'm glad I'm part of 1234, it's been keeping me healthy and strong.
Speaking of 1234, I have to mention Jeremoo. He's a flawed guy, as we all are. He combats many a sin, and so do I. Through God, he starts 1234, I barely have the strength to nod to join him. He's getting stronger, and if God helps me, I'll get stronger too. Jeremoo, I'm thankful for you. Thank you for Streams in the Desert, it keeps me fed Spiritually for now. I'm getting weary of running, but Christian brothers and sisters are keeping me up and running. Running, till I meet James at the end of my race.
Veron, I haven't finished your song. Must use the S word here, SORRY!! Man, I've been keeping a good record of letting people down. First Jun Ai, and now Veron.. Haiz, bad bad Naveen. I wish I really could find the time, but exams and all, wowzers they're pushing me heaps. I think I'll sit down this weekend and do it.
By the way, I've been blessed with 3 good Christians here. Mr David, Miss Jan, both my lecturers, Selwin, and Shawn, newfound Christian Buddies. Mr David has been my complaint post, every single thing I'll go to him. Wonder when he's going to get tired of it, but he never seems to. He seems even more delighted than I do bug him. My English Lecturer, Miss Jan however, likes to bully whatever Christians she can find. We had a wonderful dinner cum Fellowship last Monday, and the little CF IS GOING STRONG thanks to your prayers!!
Acedmic point of View, no probs, almost aceing everything thanks to God's good Graces.. Mum seems to think I'm lazy, and gave Khuen Foong (J Joy's Husband, and therefore Jun Ai's Bro-In Law), ironically a doctor, the power to spank me raw. So much for Family Love eh??

Where Do We Go From Here??

2007-06-15T16:59:00.000+08:00

Strike the Shepherd and the Sheep will be scattered.. Thats what Satan did with Jesus, but Jesus, against the script, rose up to save us all.. But now, when Satan strikes James, where do we go from here??
Yes, we've lost a brother. James was taken around 11.10 am this morning. There was a test done to see whether he was brain dead, and the results came back positive, both times. So this morning, Uncle William, Aunty Cindy, and family, took the decision to pull the plug on James' life support. And God, loving him, took him away, instead of letting him suffer on this earth. I respect that God, but somehow I feel You made a mistake.
James was a strong, good boy. A fantastic son to his family, a phenomenal brother to his 4 siblings, and someone who had a passion and zeal to work hard and harder for God. I remember fondly as he was the one who always took the lead during tracting for Living Skills classes. When we both went out, I was often the one shaking in fear. he just marched up to people and handed out tracts and stuff. Wow right?? A great guy that has a better heart. How blessed to know him, though he wasn't long here.
These few months, God's biggest gift to me was to hang out with James. Since Cambodia, James was on FIRE!! He was a great singer, and the best part was always how he sang with full heart, every single time. It was just, wow.. He's been such an excellent co-worker in Christ, and it's been such a joy and a honour to work with this brother. We've had so many things planned out for the youth in Seremban. Oh Brother, who will now teach the Songs we've learnt. Who will watch over the Choir, Who will watch with pride as the Youth grow in maturity?? Who will care for the flock?? When will I ever watch you preach?? Or lead Sunday singing.. Could you hear me when I said I'm so proud of you. Could you hear it, when the Youth sat by your bedside and whispered encouragement in your ears, reminding you of who you have to be, thing things you have to do?? Did you know the Singaporeans came with tears and grief to your bedside, that they prayed with Sweat and Tears, just as the Seremban Youth did?
In death, James is Victorious. How in a few days, so many plans have been accomplished. SOYMILK have been to Seremban to see the youth. The seeds of a international Cell group have been sown. The Youth are fired, to live up to you and the legacy you've left us. How you've changed the hearts of people my brother.. I will praise God for all this. I know in heaven, I'll see you someday. But not now. Wait for me my brother, for I will come soon.. After all, what is lie, but the morning mist?? All life is borrowed, we have to give it back someday.
In my mind, I cry "LORD I DEFY YOU". In my heart, I know "Lord has given and the Lord has taken away, the Name of the Lord be praised!!" God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Oh Satan , my old master and friend. How you make us grieve.. Yet, with God's power, I defy YOU!! You can strike every shepherd on the face of the Earth, yet, in their stead, God will provide a 1000 more. In the Grace of God, James beat you!! Lord hear me!! Pslams 42!! I PRAISE YOU LORD, I PRAISE YOU!!!

James, I'm so Proud of you..

2007-06-15T01:10:00.000+08:00

I traveled from my college yesterday to see how James is holding up. I didn't really believe what my mum told me because I thought she hid some details from me, I could feel it in her voice. it's normal, doesn't want me to worry too much. So I was down in Seremban yesterday and I saw first hand what's happening to James.
It's a bit worrisome to see him in such a state. He's been scheduled for surgery, but they can't do it because his blood pressure was fluctuating, they've lined him up for a scan to see whether he's brain dead, but they can't do that either because his sodium levels are too high. So, practically, the doctors are doing, and can do, nothing. But James' parents are taking him out for a 2nd opinion, just to be sure of anything.
James isn't doing too well, his heart is at 38% efficiency it's pretty beaten up as well. His left lung has a puncture, he's broken his right leg, his skull is fractured, and pieces of bone lie all over his brain. His face is a bit swelled up, because of the fluid buildup an brain swelling. But in spite of all that bleakness, there's a lot of hope.
James is a strong, good boy, and the Lord is with him. He's managed to wriggle his toes, showing he's not brain dead. Though he's unable to speak or respond in any way, we know he can hear us, and the youth sit around his bed daily, and whisper encouragement. We remind him of all the things left to do, our football match with PJ youths, the DOTA games we've yet to play, the football he loves so much. ( I can't go on, will do, when I get stronger )

Breakaway

2007-06-01T09:20:00.000+08:00

Heys, This is my 1st post from COLLEGE!! I'm hating it, everything's s frantic, crazy, super speed, etc etc.. I came in on the 2nd intake and missed a week's worth of lectures!! And wow, they've sped away.. Bio with one Chapter Head Start, and other subjects that are in the realm of 'No way I'll be able to catch up'. Yet, catch up I must, and God it's hard.. But I know God's with me, and well, If God's with me, Who/What could stand against me?? Sharing a room with 3 Malay guys. Great Roomies, and Good Buddies. Have Lectures and Tutorials From 8am-5pm daily, and then laze around till bed time (around 12am/1am). Oh yeah, Have a small CF starting up too!! So excited abt it.. At the moment its just me and my English Lecturer, but I'm sure we could rope in more people with a little effort. Pray for me guys.. Here's the perfect thing to describe this journey here:

http://www.lyricsondemand.com/k/kellyclarksonlyrics/breakawaylyrics.html

I'm learning how to fly, but I promise I'll never forget my origins, the places I'm from, the ones I love, and the ones I care for.. Shout out to my Family, Soymilk, Veron, Sheena, Shermaine, Jia Ni, TABBY TABS, Daniel, JereMOO, Biskit, Reagan ,YM Cass, Charlotte, S'ban Youth, Akiko, Abby, Lisa, Titan, WM Youth Mag and Daniel Ong!!! Miss you guys!!! Miss going to Church!!!

How Does A Treble, Become a Single..

2007-05-20T00:36:00.000+08:00

Listening To: Nothing But You, Paul Van Dyk

Haiz, we blew it, and no one to blame but ourselves again.. We had a dream about a Treble, that now lays in ashes.. We've got 1 cup, which is better than nothing, yet, not enough for a club that has preformed so OUTSTANDINGLY well this season. And yes folks, I AM talking about Manchester United. And Yes, we've just lost the FA cup to dear ol' Rivals Chelsea. Haiz, I'll try to sleep the disappointment off..

Form 6 Begins...

2007-05-17T21:40:00.000+08:00

Listening To: Bigger Than My Body, John Mayer

Gosh.. Never thought it would be this hard.. Once upon a time, in O-Levels, I used to be the Chemistry Ace. And now, I'm starting from Square one. Everyone starts at square one, my seniors say.. So, it's time to build myself up again, from scratch. The first step is always the hardest, people say. It seems to apply here as well. I've just been exposed to the basic overview of several of my Subjects for this year. Oh yeah, speaking of Subjects, there's MUET( English), Pengajian Am (History), Biology, Chemistry and the BANE of my EXISTENCE, MATH T. See, I've barely survived Add Math back in Form 4 and 5, and now THIS??!! Hoping to be a Doctor, the only math I ever wanna figure out is the dosage required by a patient. I've barely Survived SPM (O-Levels) with a miraculous A-. Now, I've got to go through another round wrestling theorems of Triangles and Circles?? *Faint*!!
But, if there's something about me you should know, its that I live in Competition. In the face of challenges, I smile, because I have the Strength of God with me. I know I'll be able to do anything I put my mind to, and the main problem is putting my mind to math. I know, I can do it. God help me here please!!

Going Back To School, Worries Abound..

2007-05-14T22:10:00.000+08:00

Gosh, in like 9 hours time, I'll be back in Secondary School.. Have to wake up at 6 for the first time in months!! Half of 2007 has went by in a storm of wings.. But in that time, I had friendships forged, love kindled, a Return to God, a Fire Re-Kindled, love abound, and joys, disappointments.. Gosh, I would't have traded those few months for anything in the world. The events that have happened since Dec 2006-the Present have defined who I am, and what I am Growing to be. A learning process, that has been going on day by day for months, have really put me on the journey to adulthood. I'm still Immature about things, but I'm LEARNING!! And That's what counts.
Tomorrow, I start a new chapter, a fresh page in my book of life. I'm going back to school. I'm chasing a dream. A dream, inspired by the kids of Cambodia, and Thailand. A journey, to be a Doctor. To work in the mission field of God, that is what I wanna do, but not just as an ordinary missionary. A someone, who people can come to, when they are ailing. And I pray God will drive me through this 2 hard years.
I fear a lot.. What if I fail to do well at the end of two years?? What if I drift away from God in pursuit of my goals?? What if I Lose touch with my newfound friends?? What if... One Thousand and One Questions rattle my mind.. Into Your Hands, I commend my Spirit, O' Lord. Do my worrying for me, be with me, Almighty.. Shield me, and remind me that those I love will never really leave me, though they sometimes seem to do so..

Working The Butts Off!!

2007-05-13T02:20:00.000+08:00

Listening To : Vanilla Sky Soundtrack, Sigur Ros

Wells, 2.20am on a Sunday morning.. Gotta wake up for church pretty soon.. Oh yeah, its Mother's Day too.. And James and myself are supposed to do this slide show presentation (basicly, he's doing all the work, that Comp Geek).. I don't know nuts about Powerpoint though.. Feeling crappy, and tired ( not to mention hungry ). Man, Just wanted to write a post to vent out a bit of anger/frustation.. People say that a blog is an expression of the soul.. Well, here I am, pouring out this frustrated bit.. I'm really frust on James' behalf, because the STUPID COMP is acting UP!! It's like, it chose the perfect time to ruin James' wonderful slide shows, TWICE!!! I would hammer it to the ground, but it isn't my comp lolz... Gosh, wells determintaion showed.. Hopefully the rest of the Youth show that kind of maturity too, so everything will go well tomorrow.. Or else, I'll be headless in the morning.. Will update on how it went.. TILL THEN..

Internship.. In Seremban

2007-05-10T02:04:00.000+08:00

Listening To: Susie Suh, All I Want

The 3 most popular people in Singapore, are currently in Chiang Mai, on a (guaranteed) life changing trip. Well, I on the other hand, am stuck here in Seremban, doing an internship here. Before you guys come rushing to see Seremban Christian Zone, just know I'm working with my home church.. Nothing big *lol*.. Wells, guess the soul of a person is incorporated into his/her blog.
Well, I've been busy throughout this internship. Luckily, I have off days, and work isn't so frantic, unless someone wants to change his sermon last minute (Don't anyone DARE try that with me) !! Been, and Being Franticly preparing Mother's Day stuff, hope that all goes well. James and myself have been putting together a 10 minute slide-show showing all the Mums over the years (with James doing most of the work, since he's the Comp Expert) . We've pounced upon some pretty interesting ones too, just have to come down to Seremban on Mother's Day if you wanna see it. Got this other thing planned out too. Get the Mum's to read out letters written by their Children. Super cool actually, looking forward to it (gosh, that reminds me, gotta call ppl to makes sure they actually wrote the letters lolz). Besides that, been out tracting and promoting the Living Skills class that we have. Living What, you say?? Well, Living Skills is a Community Outreach project, that out Church preforms for (mostly) Underprivileged Kids. I've been one of the teachers, and been trying to play a more active role in the teaching, especially in English classes. I'm nowhere near as dedicated as the other teachers though ( Aunty Kim, Poh Yen, Mum, Dad, Uncle Kok Bin). But after all, I'm on internship to learn stuff, right??
Besides that, nothing much to say.. Just odd jobs here and there around Church, nothing worth mentioning.. But I'm learning heaps, on how the Church is run, and how to be more active in it.. I really think that this is a time God set for me, to learn and to grow, and to serve. God Be praised, and may all I do, be for His Glory. Amen.. Till the next post..

The ( Irresponsible ) Blogger Retruns

2007-04-24T12:29:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHA!! I Can already hear the Oh My Gods and all the commotion. "Naveen Kabillan, actually blogging??" being whispered among The Droves of people about this Miracle. Oh well, I'm just bottomline lazy actually, Kit Keat makk.. Even though with all the time in the world, I just find myself clueless as to why I haven't done anything to my near extinct blog. Well, due to constant encouragement by many people ( you know who you are, just check my Cbox ) and also the recent addition of my Blog to the Shoulder To Shoulder For Asia, and also my turning 18 years old (today!!), I've decided to adopt a more responsible stance in my Relationship with God, Family, Church, and last but never least, BLOGGING!! I've got tons of material to blog about since I came back from Payap (gosh, I've haven't blogged in so long!!). So lets see..

1. Of Course, CAMBODIA!!

2. Marv, Jason , and Danny's Visit to Malaysia

3. Scholarship Rejected *sob sob*

4. Church Internship (Seremban and Wangsa Maju)

5. -Soon to be added-

I'll write seperate posts on all these incidents. Enjoy!!

The Journey..

2007-03-12T02:32:00.000+08:00

Dust And Ashes,

Grief and Sorrow,

Darkness and Night,

All Banished By The Radiance Of The Living God....

These few weeks have been a test of my faith, and it would have destroyed it, if not for the great Grace and and Mercy of the Lord, and the constant prayers thatmy Brothers and Sisters In Christ have been lifting to God on my behalf. I've not been able to keep my promise of blogging constantly, and its been unfair to those reading. But the death of my friend Joe, and my dearest Aunt Selvam has sidetracked me a lot. Yes, deaths again. I used to think God picked on me a lot, because every year, he takes some loved ones away from me. People I love, and I care for. And I will never see them again. But, this year, its different. I no have any anger against God. I have no longer any Hatred against the God of Love. All I have is faith, and strength. My help and deliverence come from the Lord, and I will not be shaken. I have been on a journey of spritual renewal ever since I have been back from Chiang Mai.

Some people think baptism is the end of a spritual journey, but rest assured, I know now it has just been the start of a long and painful journey. But trust me, it is worth the pain and effort. The Bible says that God works in mysterious ways, and all things work out for the good of those who seek him. Indeed in the midst of despair and pain, he has shown me the way. I the places I thought "There Is No God', there he found me. And His ways, though mysterious, are right and works out in the long run. I am deep in the debt of the Lord, not only for the death of Jesus, but also for the times he has rescued me from destroying myself.

Last week, I made a confession to my Mum, and I came clean to her about many things done. I've told her about the drug I was addicted to, which was porn. And how it was destroying me from the inside out and killing my spritual faith. I was so weak, I had given up daily prayer and reading the Word. I was weak and it was killing me. And I poured out my soul to my Mum, and I cried out to God to take my soul and change it. And he did. The trials have left me softened up enough for God to mold me into a child of His. And God be praised for it.

The death of my Aunt, has strengthened me. She was the one who fed me and the Milk of the Word, and brought me up in a God loving life. At the funeral, I swore, that as long as God was with me, to the best of my abiltity, I WILL NOT LET SATAN CONQUER ME!! I've been changed. God be Praised. Amen Glory be to God, Amen.

Life after Chiang Mai..

2007-02-18T22:29:00.000+08:00

Hey,

First and foremost, I have to apologize for not providing regular updates on my trip to Chiang Mai. I really was super super busy having too much fun that I forgot (gosh!!) my faithful blog visitors. Well, to say the least, the experience was ( to say the least) LIFE changing. A life of servitude and self-sacrificing was super alien to me before I went. But now, I'm very encouraged by what I've seen and experienced has spurned me to live a Christ driven life always. Although the road is hard, I'm walking strong, and hoping to continue walking in that stead with the help of Jesus Christ. Well, I've been back in Malaysia for 3 weeks already and its been..... different. I'm finding myself slipping back into my old self. Being selfish, always wanting to be served. But something is different now. I find myself struggling against it instead of just feeling at ease with it. I finally (after 3 years of being Christian) am being Transformed into the likeness of Christ with every passing day. Its been Strengthening and Blessed.. Will be blogging soon, PROMISE!!

P.S- I've written a report on my activities in Payap for the Seremban Church, and if would like a copy, e-mail me at naveen_kabillan@hotmail.com

5 Days In Honeymoon (According To P. Robert)

2007-01-07T01:31:00.000+08:00

Hey,

I've been told that the condition I'm experiencing right now is the honeymoon period according P Robert's explaination of Culture Shock.. I, for the past few weeks have been experiencing bliss all the way, as my stay in Thailand as been truly enjoying and rewarding.. Since I've been here, I've already made super good friends in the Thai students here, which are so so COOL!! They never once make you feel out of place and they always lead you to the best places to eat!! And Speaking about food, its just best variety in any country, and all of it tastes equally good!! I'm having trouble keeping my money in my wallet *lol*.. Anyways, I've basicly got to know the Thais better and also participate in a few activities such as Cell Group and going on To Campus to talk with the students..

Hello From Chiang Mai!!!

2007-01-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

Hey, From Chiang Mai Mates!!!

It's been GREAT!!! Lol, to think I was just hanging out in Kl at the Curve just a few days ago watching fireworks, and now I'm like 2000 miles away in Thailand, smack in a middle of a coup!! Never Mind, not to worry, coup's over and its totally safe right now, and I'm doing great!! Anyways, I'm at the start of a 30 day journey which is life changing and soul nourishing for me.. I've left everything behind to answer the Lord's call to serve Him in a foriegn land.. Anyways, I woke Up this morning at 5 something ( so early!! ) to leave, and flight was at 8.50 and was so so tiring.. But I was greeted by warm smiles and handshakes from the Rob Reagan, Thais and newfound Buddy Marvin.. How I wish I could learn their names quicker, but they all sound the same *smacks head*.. Haiz, gotta learn quick though.. And then, we all went to Lunch at Airport Mall, which is incidentally where The Interns watch movies in their free time.. Wow, the group here is really really fun, they told me this joke about how to order Chicken Rice from a deaf man which left me half deaf!! Hahaha, Marv's the best of the lot ( mostly because he speaks the most English ).. He was teaching me loads on the Thai language and it was all confusing and all, but I'll learn eh?? Gotta get through it no matter what mate.. Funny though, because the same word, if pronounced differently, can either mean Chicken or Can I please Fart!!! Lol, gotta watch my tounge.. Anyways, had a great day today, after Lunch Rob briefed me about life over here and als do's and don'ts.. And then we sat down ( Me, Marv and Rob ) and planned out the activites for Jan... By the looks of it, its gonna be tiring but super fun.. Then after that Marv gave me a lesson in proper table tennis.. After some football, dinner, a quick shower, we headed to watch a movie at Nui's and Un's place (two of the students here) to watch GOAL!! Ok, gotta sleep soon, because Abby is coming tommorow and there's a prank waiting to be pulled off.. Nites!!

New Years Eve With The Savaris ( and one Savaree )

2007-01-01T12:46:00.000+08:00

Heya,

Been back posting regularly (yay yay), over the last few weeks so I've been able to give regular updates on whats been happening ( another Yay Yay ).. Well, New Years Eve seems really ordinary and all, but last year, it was so one of a kind ( gosh, last year, got to get used to it!! I also meant 31st Dec 2006, not 2005 ).. Well, I just went over to Wangsa Maju CoC which itself is a real treat EVERYTIME!! There's Adelina, Ai, NingaNing, Caleb, Caitlynn, Uncle Ravi, Aunty Irene, Aunty Nalini, and (my personal fave) CAYLA and CAYLEE!!! So had a GREAT worship by Uncle Victor followed by a Disturbing sermon, which, I admit, shook me.. So after worship, I was spending time getting wrestled to the ground by Cayla and Calyee (which was really FUN!!).. Then My Mum, she told me that we were going to Saravana Bavan In Bangsar to eat, with the added bonus of the Savari's and 2 of the Chong sisters, and also Khuen's brother!! Wowzers, that was a fun experience in itself, 'cause for the 1st time, I had a Chocolate Milkshake ( so sad right?? ) !! It was also super fun having 2 Aussie visitors around too, and at the end, me Ai, Khuen's bro tried this beel leaf thing which they gave out!!! Wowzers, I wonder how Aunty Nalini eats that stuff, Its really really bitter!! During Lunch, I had this tap on my shoulder and I saw it was Darling Cayla, and she asked me to come over to her House!! I was like, no way I'm gonna get my Mum to say yes, when lo' and behold, Cayla marched right up and told her!! Way to GO!! And to add to my Surprise, she said YES!!! So my family geared up for their first ever trip to the Savari home!! So, such a great experience for me obviously.. Playing twister, charades and Scene it.. Such Fun.. I'm really attached to them now, really really.. Regard them as family.. Is that good or bad?? I dunno..

Christmas Carols..

2006-12-28T02:39:00.000+08:00

Heya Bloggers,

This might seem a little old obviously, but I still gotta write about it because its been such a joy to have been a part of it. It happened last Sunday, after church. I happened to have got wind of the Wangsa Maju's Caroling performance in Times Square!! Obviously, this particular piece of info came from my most valued asset in Wangsa, Adelina.. I've gotta thank God for her, she literally connects me to Wangsa Maju and keeps me up to date always.. Really a blessing.. Anyways, Since I had this particular piece of info, you wouldn't expect me to be keeping this all to myself would ya?? We as the Church of Christ always have to back each other up rite?? So, performing duty ( very happily) I gathered what Youths i could to travel all the way to Times, 2 hours away by train.. It was really God's blessing that so many managed to come.. Well, to cut a long story short, the performance was PHENOMENAL (and thats an understatement)!!! The Blue Dolphins (Wangsa's Choir) was fantastic.. The highlights were Darling Cayla and Her younger Sister!! So cute!! Oh, please Caitlynn, let me keep them!! They were so cute dancing up there.. Wow, God you really do make wonderful things.. Anyways, that wasn't the end of it, 'cause I somehow found myself up that very stage where the Blue Dolphins were performing!! The Whole Choir Conspired to shove me up that stage!! Lol, just had to perform some beatbox and sing Baa Baa Black Sheep!! So embarassing!! But then again, I'm used to it.. As long people have a good laugh, I'm happy..

Bye Ampang, Hello Tampin!!

2006-12-22T15:41:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone.. I'll be leaving For Tampin in a few hours time.. For those of you who think Tampin is some type of endangered animal or food, let me explain... Tampin (in literal sense) means A type of container which you use to keep dodol... But, Its been adpoted as the name of my HOMETOWN!! lol.. So, Tampin has been the place where I grew Up, schooled in and currently live in.. Though its in some rural place in the middle of nowhere, Tampin happens to bost its very own Pizza Hut, KFC, Giant, and 7 -11 (no McD's though, bummer).. Hahhaha, its a great peaceful place which is set the mountains.. I love the people, the food, the sunrise, the football, and the calmness.. As William Butler Yeats wrote,

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,

Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;

There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,

And evening full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day

I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;

While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements gray,

I hear it in the deep heart's core.

Thats Tampin..
I'm going home..

My Life ( At the moment )

2006-12-20T03:32:00.000+08:00

Hey People... Humans plan, but God ultimately decides... Its one rule of the universe that no one can change and holds true for each and every person who walks on the face of the earth.. Well, to be fair to my few ( but loyal ) blog supporters, I'm going to give you a lay out on what I'll be doing till 3rd of Jan..

This week : I'm currently in Ampang, In my cuzzies Condo which is a 5 min Bus ride away from Ampang Point!!! So, its of to bowling, arcade games and shopping!! But I've had a little too much of it (I'm someone who gets bored of something really quickly).. Instead, I spend my days trashing (or getting trashed) by my cuzzies at Monopoly and Scrabble.. I've also gotta prepare for my Sermon on the 24th which is *haiz* difficult.. I really gotta make it good 'cause its my 1st one!! Alos looking for an opportunity to spend some time with the youths in Wangsa and PJ (Lord Willing) But I think a visit to Wangsa is Out of the Question, since they don't meet during weekdays..

Next Week: Really Hetic, Because its Christmas!!! Wowzers, have to juggle family and church Activities without canceling out one of them!!! On the Family Side, I've reunions, and Christmas dinners to attend to, whereas on the Church side, there's a MAJOR meeting to attend to, the contents which I can't reveal yet, and also the Annual Lock In!! So Cool!!

A Realization

2006-12-18T03:42:00.000+08:00

Hey,
I'm back blogging, following advice by Cassy And Junny... The last few days have been a revelation to me, and i have no doubt in my mind that it certainly Godsend.. A beautiful picture, a glimpse of heaven that God has painted for me.. Some people say that blogging is the best way to let out some inner feelings, and thats what I'm doing right now.. Blogging therapy at 4 in the morning.. The recently concluded Bible Quiz proved to be a new way to look at things to me, truely a new way I have never been before.. It wasn't about winning (which, for me, was the main objective this year), indeed it was the furthest thing possible at the end of the day. It wasn't even about learning God's Word (even though that was so important to me), but at the end of all things , God showed me Heaven. I'm not, and never will be the same after what God revealed to me. Heaven comes in so many ways, and either you see it or you're not looking hard enough. Heaven, I saw it in so many ways, in so many people. I saw it in the support of my teammates George and Jia Ying, the diligence of my other teammates Michelle, Mi Shyuen, Chye Mei, Calvin, Ariel, Benjamin, Ong Beng and James. The hospitality of people like Uncle Kok Bin, the zeal for God's work, in people like Uncle Tony and Uncle Ravi. The Beauty of the Voices Of God's People In Unision, giving praise to The Most High. The support shown by all the people who came for the Event as well as the participants.. The Enthusiasm of Young People like Zach, Caleb and Brenda, Whom I really admire. The Laughter Of Friends like Cassandra, Jun Ai, Jun Ning, Chye Leng, Adelina, the emotional Support I recieved from People like Yan Ming and Reagan , the hugs from (adopted GodMum) Sister Nalini, Uncle Chong Fatt, Uncle Chong Seng and others, and (most strikingly) the innocence in the eyes of Children like Cayla and Jasmine.. I saw heaven.. Truly, God lives in everyone of us whether you see it not. Those who see the intricate clockwork of God's Work are truly blessed indeed, and I give my Praise and thanks To God that I see his love being poured out in all the members of the Church.. I have realized one powerful thing, and I pray that You will see it as well... That no matter how far you go, or where your life leads you, Love, Peace and Joy is always found in Church.. No matter who You are in the Church, I want you to know, that you've touched my life and made me see God through you.. You have made me a better Person and I Love You for It.. Truly Heaven Exists among us, in all of us..

Back To My Usual Poetic Self

2006-12-17T00:10:00.000+08:00

Don't know Why, probably the loneliness suffered after the Bible Quiz 'Cause everyone went back addy, especially Friends from Wangsa Maju and PJ.... Haiz, miss them all...

For you I would climb
The highest mountain peak
Swim the deepest ocean
Your love I do seek.

For you I would cross
The rivers most wide
Walk the hottest desert sand
To have you by my side.

For you are the one
Who makes me whole
You've captured my heart
And touched my soul.

For you are the one
That stepped out of my dreams
Gave me new hope
Showed me what love means.

For you alone
Are my reason to live
For the compassion you show
And the care that you give.

You came into my life
And made me complete
Each time I see you
My heart skips a beat.

For you define beauty
In both body and mind
Your soft, gentle face
More beauty I'll ne'er find.

For you are the one
God sent from above
The angel I needed
For whom I do love.

I CAn't give you my preciousHEART
BUT one thing i promiseMY HEART will
NEVER FORGET YouEVEN a single day
or may be aTHOUSAND YEARS
"I will always love you"

This goes Out To every Member Of The Youth In The Malaysian Church of Christ.... And My Girlfriend whom I do love so so much....

Hey, Time To Move Along....

2006-12-15T12:42:00.000+08:00

As The All American Rejects song goes 'even when your hope is gone, move along, move along likeI know you do'.. Well, things have happened this year which has made me much stronger, Spm has passed and love found and lost *It hurts, trust me*.... Well, I'm moving my bloggie soon and i'll inform my few blogger readers when....

2006-03-28T21:16:00.000+08:00

One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?

"His answer surprised me..."Look around", He said. "Do you see the fernand the bamboo?"

"Yes", I replied."When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care ofthem. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.

But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the
bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

" He said. "In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.But I would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing from thebamboo seed. I would not quit."He said."Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.

I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."He said to me."Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots?" "I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you."

"Don't compare yourself to others."He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful." "Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"

"How high should I rise?" I asked."How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return."As high as it can?" I questioned

"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."I left the forest and brought back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.

He will never give up on you.Never regret a day in your life.Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences;
both are essential to life.....

Sunshine... (Not original...)

2006-03-28T00:53:00.000+08:00

Made a wish, I can dream
I can be what I want to be
Not afraid to live life
And fulfil my fantasies

I learnt a lot of tricks to help me live my life
You helped me find my paradise
When you came, you were like

Sunshine through my window
That's what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel
I'm on top of the world
Telling me I'll go far

Reaching out, for new heights
You inspired me to try
Felt the magic inside
And I felt that I could fly

I'm looking at the world in an optimistic light
You made me appreciate my life
'Cos when you came you were like

Sunshine through my window
That's what you are
My shining starSunshine
Making me feel likeI'm on top of the world
Telling me I'll go far

You are the calm
I am the storm
You are the breeze that carries me on
When I set adrift
You anchor me
You're there for me

Sunshine (oh yeah)
That's what you are
My shining starSunshine
Making me feel
I'm on top of the world
Telling me that I'll go far

Sunshine through my window
That's what you are
My shining star(Sunshine)
Making me feel I'm on top of the world
Telling me that I'll go far

SunshineMy star, my star..

God, Its Not Fair !!!!!

2006-03-18T01:11:00.000+08:00

Dear God,

I'm angry and dissapointed with You right now. I know I have no right to question Your Will, and Plans Lord, but you've let me down Dear Lord. God, why did it have to go all over again. Getting hit by a 16-wheeler when you're on a motorbike is no way to leave this earth, Lord. just think about it, a few months more and she would be sitting for her SPM already Lord. But (forgive me Lord) I'm really dissapointed because You (for once) didn't answer my prayer Lord. You know how I ask You to keep my Family, Friends and Church Members safe Lord, but why did You choose not to answer this one Lord. Its really not fair God. You took Ain at a time when I was just starting to get over Shuba and Kalai's passing away Lord. You took a 17 year old girl Lord, someone who didn't know Christ the way we Christians do, someone so Bright, Charming, and Wonderful. I could go on asking why forever Lord, but I know, at the end of the day, You've got my best intersets at heart Lord. But Lord, please Lord, please don't take away someone who is closer to me than Ain. Please don't take away someone who is so dear to me Lord, My Mum, Dad, Brothers and family, people like Junny, Michelle, David and friends, people like Uncle Ken, Chong Fatt, Aunty Esther and other people in the Church. Lord, please Lord, and you know deep down Lord, that I would Die for these people. Lord, keep them safe and happy, wherever they may be Lord. I trust You, Depend on You and Survive on You Lord.....

Holidays here, And I'm Grateful....

2006-03-15T11:22:00.001+08:00

Hmm... It's funny how God sometimes decides to answer your prayers by giving you exactly what you want, but not exactly what you've expectedto get. For instance, I was technically crying out to God for relief beacuse I was so bogged down with Exams and Co-Curricular work, and really frustrated and irrirated because I didn't get it. But God, in His own time (as He usually does) answered my prayers by sending me a whole week of holidays to relax. Now, I'm not being ungrateful, but just plain truthful when I say that I'm getting really bored after just 2 days into it. Hmm, in hindsight, I was really, really (and I Mean REALLY) looking forward to it 'cause of the activties I had lined up ( notice the usage of the word lined ).

RetroSpective

2006-03-10T09:14:00.000+08:00

Heya everyone, I thought I would be closing my blog soon but after thinking about it for a while, I decided..... NO WAY!!! How could I even think of it! Must have got some crazy ideas that day.
Anyways, this last two weeks (on which I haven't written a single post *gasp) have been jammed packed like crazy. Well, just to cut a long story short, The Drama Team beat Taman Indah this year to become District CHAMPIONS (I told you you should have joined, Michelle). Debate though, no that good (I hereby decline to comment)... While Quiz is Still UNKNOWN?? *lol lol*. Quiz results should be out after the holidays ( Jun says Whats the difference?? *lol*) .
But as if these competitions were not enough, I had to sit for an entire weeks worth of exams! Aiiyo, can't the school exempt someone 'yang telah mengharumkan nama sekolah di arena dunia?' Oops, I mean daerah. Anyways, I've done them and got the results back already, not half bad actually.
I've got a bit more crazy than usual and in my usual craziness, I've also joined the School Choir. Its really good but the songs are really dry and boring. The teacher, Madam Tan also metioned that I'm not singing from my tummy. Hmm, I wonder how to do that? Got to work on it I suppose?? Also, I pulled out of the MHF Junior League Hockey Squad (much to the teachers frustration, but hey, Its either SPM or hockey.) Also joining the table tennis team I suppose. Gotta practice di...

2006-02-27T15:55:00.000+08:00

This Week is probably one of the busiest ones of my co-curricular life. I really don't know what got me into all this mess, which is worsened by the fact that this year is a Exam Year for myself. Being someone who is taking 14 subjects, you might thnk that this is gonna be sucide. Well, I now am starting to think likewise. Tomorrow I just happen to be involved in Drama. This is actually a grudge match because I've been waiting a entire year just to exact revenge on this School, SMTI (My Dad works There Ironically). See, last year we were robbed of a victory. We happened to preform 'Puteri Gunung Ledang' but we were robbed of a win because of a biased Adjudicator. This fella (being Australian) did not understand the story. If you've watch PGL, you would know that Hang Tuah (hero) and Puteri Retno Dumillah (heroine) are of different social status (with the latter being royalty) and there should be any type of Romance between the two (and by Romance I mean touching, hugging) . Therefore he gave SMTI the win because we were 'Inoriginal and Non-Romantic'. The best part is that we didn't get a single award eventhough our Drama was miles ahead of the other schools and SMT (runners up) actually preformed CINDERELLA which is really original. This year though, I think the chances of winning have slimmed down incredibly because of a second-rate script. For drama at least, my chance is over. The day after tommorrow I'm involved in Debate and on Thursday I've got Kuiz Alam Sekitar. Aii....

Faith..

2006-02-24T00:38:00.000+08:00

Faith is interesting. So often it stands in contrast with knowledge. Faith demands that we look at all we see and then take a step beyond - a step into the unknown of doubt.
That is not to say that faith is without experience. We have faith that the world will continue in the future much as it has in the past. We have faith that gravity will continue to hold us down, that the sun will come up tomorrow, and that the laws that govern the universe will hold relatively constant, at least within our ability to measure them. We cannot know any of these things for certain - the future is truly the undiscovered country, and objective knowledge about it cannot be obtained. Yet this does not stop us from believing that a future exists, and furthermore believing it will have certain properties - namely properties that resemble our present. While we cannot objectively prove these things to be true, we believe them with a fierce passion, and we have yet to be disappointed. Our experience suggests certain things about how the world works, and causes us to believe them and trust them, even though we have no real emperical basis for doing so.
In the same way, our experience leads us to believe that certain things are true about the human condition: that service is greater than selfishness, that sacrifice is greater than greed, that love is greater than hate. Logically these things make little sense. They seem to go against everything our society teaches us. But in the hearts of those who have seen charity and experienced love, faith suggests to us that there is something more to life than the endless race to get ahead - that our lives are not measured by how much we get, but by how much we give away.
Even still, true faith cannot exist without doubt. Doubt is not the cancer of faith, it is the tester of faith. It is that moment where we examine ourselves and make the choice of whether or not to believe. Were there no doubt, faith would not be a real choice. If faith were certain, it would cease to be faith, its beauty robbed. The veracity of our faith is continually proven in our struggle with the realization that the seemingly illogical sometimes turns out to make more sense than what we have been taught.
Even though we look to the unknown future through the lens of our personal experience, it is sometimes difficult to believe what we experience - love, joy, hope - is something that will last.
But in faith, we continue to believe.

Really Dunno if This Is True....

2006-02-20T16:42:00.000+08:00

(How girls Behave When she likes You)

1. She's very shy infront of you

2. She looks anywhere else but your eyes

3. She always looks away from you wheneveryou'relooking at her.

4. She doesnt dare to talk to you

5. She's always talking about you to her mates

6. She keeps smiling.

7.She'll always be walking pass you or so.

(How GUYS behave when he's interested or he likesYOU)

1. He'll always look at you secretly

2. He always talks to you

3. He's always asking who you have a crush on

4. He's always asking other people about you.yourlikes and dislikes.

5. All his mates knows about you.

6. His mates are always around you.

7. His mates always talks about him infront of you.

8.He's always happy when you're around.

Things you should be aware of.

- its never too early to hold her hand if you're sure she likes you.

-girls are always shy. if you know she's interested,grab the chance and ask her out or whatsoever.

-guys are softies to the girls they like. but it doesntmean you can bully them.

WOMEN"S ENGLISH

Yes - yes

no - yes

maybe - yes shut up

- NOim not unhappy - of course im unhappy, youmoron!

im not as pretty as you think - tell me im beautiful

do you like me? -YOU BETTER SAY YOU DO.ORYOU'LL BE DEAD.

can you be serious? - too bad. you're dead.

Valentine's Day... So Lonely...

2006-02-14T00:51:00.000+08:00

Valentine's Day is Here again. Well, being my usual loner self, Valentine's day never really got into my list of important days in my personal life. But this year, I'm feeling a little more lonely than usual. Don't know why though. Probably its the single-ness getting to me or probably I'm getting desprate for a girl already after all these years of being single and free ( Should I start my own Wawasan 2010??). I think I'm starting to feel an urge to get a girlfriend. I don't need someone to be intimate with, just a simple someone who would listen to my problems and trials and whom I could put my trust in.Someone who would be there for me when I need them. Junny always seemed to me a perfect candidate but after all, she is a year older than me and has her own Wawasan 2010 to think about. And she's obviously busy with her own life and she can't be there for me all the time. So I prefer to treat her as a friend. Probably (in Junny's words), God would drop someone out of the sky for me. Someone who is perfect for me. Well, I look forward to that day....

A Day at Church With Su Lin....

2006-02-13T00:58:00.000+08:00

In my Life of always living in fear and mistrust, one valuable person that I've been able to trust completely (there's only a few of them) is my CoC friend Su Lin. I've alwas regarded Lin as the sister I never had ( the same way I regard The Ongs as the Christian family I never had ). She's always been there if I needed someone to talk to, and been a great friend and Secret-Keeper over the years. And here's a juicy fact, she's related to a certain Chong Jun Ai. But this Friday, I'm gonna lose her to Higher Education. Thats right, She's going over to Tazmania (did I get the spelling right??) to further her studies and yesterday was her last Sunday in a very long while that she was able to Worship at the Church in Seremban. So, I really had a feeling of dread and sadness going to Church today since I wouldn't be able to see her again in a while. There was a pleasant surprise at Church however when I saw Chye Ling and her family sitting in Church today. Wowzers, its been ages since I last talked to her. Anyways, service went as smoothly as usual (George looked uncannily like Uncle Kok Bin today), and classes were as crazy as usual ( we wouln't stop singing untill Uncle Kenneth pried the books from our fingers *lol* ). After class, al of the Youths (Excluding Su Lin of course) gathered around and discussed when to give the gift we got for her. So, after lunch (Today was Church Lunch fellowship), we got together and we gave a speechless Su Lin her gift and a small card with all our wishes and sang a couple of songs for her. Then, she came and gave each one of us a big hug ( I think I might've suffocated her with mine ) and said our goodbyes. Sigh, I'm gonna miss Su Lin.....

The World and Christians....

2006-02-06T22:35:00.000+08:00

Today, I saw a ugly side of the world in a place least expected to see it. Right in school! So today, being Monday after all, ther was perhimpunan as usual. Expecting a rather usual and boring Assembly, I was considering skipping it to finish HOMEwork (poor lazy 'ol me). Anyways, back to our main topic, this Form 2 girl near me just fainted all of a sudden! Wowzers, imgaine the shock I got. An instant reaction was to go help her up. As I carried her, there was only this one girl, Qiao Bin that actually made an effort to help her up. I couldn't beleive my eyes that none of this girl's friends actually took the time to help her up! As I called some of the Prefects standing around, none of them wanted to even help her, In fact, some of them were even trying to make their way quietly out of the scene! I was furious. But that was far from the end. As I was 'papah'ing the girl along, there was a teacher whom actually asked me to stop supporting her because I was A Boy!!! I shot him a look of anger and he kinda got the point (hope I don't get in trouble for that). As everything was sorted out (calling the girls parents and all), I noticed there was a group of people even making fun of me because I went to help the girl! *Actual Transcript*

X: Why You helping The Girl? Wanna Tackle Her Ah?

Me: Never mind lah, she needs our help, so give it lah..

X: If shes a beautiful girl.. Never Mind lah.....

What type of twisted world do we live in today? Why are people so reluctant to help others? Its a quetion we have to ask ourselves. Its no laughing matter, and it may seem trivial, but Life as we know it has really changed. Especially for Christians who try to be different.

P.S: Hey Jun, I've been going over my archives lately and I've noticed that I've been really selfish by not replying some comments. So, for my one and only faithful blog reader, I've updated backdated comments! Enjoy...